


The Ballad of Charlie and Mac

by thehyacinthgirl



Category: IASIP, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: BRIEF Charlie/Dennis, BRIEF Charlie/The Waitress, Beer, Charlie/Mac is endgame, First Kiss, M/M, drunk, dudes who love each other, handjobs, mac and charlie, otp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-27
Updated: 2015-03-06
Packaged: 2017-12-30 16:21:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1020818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehyacinthgirl/pseuds/thehyacinthgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dennis and Sweet Dee decided to go to a party but refused to let Mac and Charlie go. So the guys stayed in at Mac and Dennis' apartment to get drunk with a twenty four case of beer.</p><p>* Mature for future chapters with a bit of porn without plot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Charlie and Mac Stay In

**5:30pm Friday Night**

  
"Those losers. I can't believe Dennis and Sweet Dee would be such dicks and not let us go to the concert with them." Mac huffed, as he sat down heavily on the couch in his and Dennis' apartment.

  
"I know. And rubbing the stupid extra tickets in our face was mean." Charlie replied, as he plopped the cardboard case of beer on the coffee table. "Should we order pizza?"

  
"Yeah, dude, I will call it in." Suddenly, Mac got a grin on his face. "I think I know where Dennis' emergency credit card is. He runs into Dennis' room and shuffles around through stuff. Charlie turns on the TV, and flips through the channels. Mac found the card, and happily ordered a large pizza with everything. He then dropped the credit card into a glass of beer and cigarette buts near the sink, laughing to himself.

  
"I didn't want to go anyway, Charlie. It's always better when it's just you and me." Mac said, sitting next to his best friend.

"That's true. What do you want to watch?" Charlie cracked open a beer as Mac took the remote from him.

**11 PM Friday Night**

 

Mac and Charlie are in a fit of giggles. The glue they were huffing sits discarded on the floor, next to 23 crushed beer cans.

"One more, dude, wanna split it?" Charlie said.

"Just don't backwash." Mac replied, cracked the lid and taking a huge glup.  "Ugh.. I'm so high, it's not even level anymore."

"What time is it?" Charlie wondered out loud as he checked the clock. "The Waitress will be off in a few minutes."

"Goddamnit, Charlie, fuck the Waitress. This is us tonight, fuck bitches."

"I can't help it, she's all I think about." Charlie let out a sigh and kicked the glue bottom with his foot. "What else do I have to be excited about?"

"Why can't you find some other girl who isn't crazy as shit to stalk?" Mac drained the last of the beer in the can.

"I don't want anyone else. This is only the second time I've felt this way." Charlie had his head back on the couch, his eyes closed. The beer and glue was making him sleepy. Mac looked over at him, his brow tensed. In all the years of knowing Charlie, he had never see him like this. There was that one girl Charlie slept with in high school but it was a bad experience for him. How could Mac not know who the other love/obsession of Charlie's life be.

"Charlie, who was the first?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter, Mac. It was a long time ago." Charlie whispered.

"But I want to know, I'm your best friend, asshole." Mac turned and pulled his leg on the couch so he could face Charlie. Charlie looked like he was asleep. Mac didn't want to let it go and he slapped Charlie across his unshaven face.

"Damnit, what!?" Charlie yelled, startled.

"Who the fuck did you love besides the Waitress?" Charlie, uninhabitated from the high concentration of glue and beer in his system, just let out a huge breath, and in a quick motion, kisses Mac hard on the lips. Mac, surprised, was frozen. Then Charlie moved back, grabbed a piece of cold pizza from the table. He paused after a bite.

"It was you, dude. Just let it go."


	2. Mac's Banging the Waitress, but Who's Banging Charlie?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set during "Mac Bangs the Waitress" except Charlie doesn't brush off Dennis.

Mac was out kicking the Waitress' new boyfriend's ass. So Charlie came to Mac and Dennis' apartment to wait for him, with a case of beer and pizza. After a brief walkie talkie conversation, Dennis spoke up.

"He's lying, Charlie." He stated his case, and ended with, "Mac's Banging the Waitress."

Charlie felt something just break inside him. Could Mac really be betraying him like that? Mac knew that the only two people Charlie has ever loved has been him and the Waitress. He knew how broken up he got when Dennis used her against him. Mac and he had never acted on it other than the awkward kiss after a night of drinking and huffing glue and of course, the Waitress wouldn't give him the time of day, but still, Charlie couldn't believe it.

"He's going to break your heart, man. And when he breaks your heart, I will be here to pick up the pieces and put you back together. Because that is what a real best friend does... You know where to find me." Dennis walked back into his bedroom, and Charlie thoughtfully sat there, wondering what to do. After a while, he started drinking.

Eventually, all the beer and all the pizza was gone. It was almost 1am and Mac came home. After a few slurred words, Mac went to bed, leaving Charlie angry and way too drunk for his own good. The door opened behind Charlie.

"Didn't sound like best friend talk out here to me. You want to come in my room?" Dennis asked.

"I think.. that sounds.. just fine." Charlie mumbled, his words sliding together.

"Come on, Charlie. Come to your real best friend." Dennis said, pulling Charlie into the room, and into the bed.

Charlie crawled under the covers and instantly felt relief. Dennis had the best sheets on his bed, and Charlie wasn't used to how soft they were. He loved sharing a bed with someone, and smiled at the bed's movement as Dennis climbed in beside him. He loved when Mac and he were younger, when Mac's dad and mom were fighting, he would come and sleep over at Charlie's house. He loved when Mac would be asleep and Charlie would rub his foot against Mac's.

Dennis' breath became deep and even, and Charlie knew he was already asleep. Charlie, feeling almost sober, moved his foot, and touched Dennis' foot gently. Dennis didn't move, and Charlie rubbed his foot against him. Dennis sighed slightly in his sleep. Charlie's eyes closed and the booze was a heavy fog against him. Before he went to sleep, he snuggled up to Dennis' back, and pulled an arm around him.

He was mostly asleep when Dennis realized Charlie's hand had traveled down his stomach and into the front of his boxers. Dennis thought about moving but it was too tempting. Charlie could feel Dennis tense a little, trying to control his breath, and Charlie knew Dennis thought he was still asleep. Charlie didn't want it to be weird if Dennis knew. Charlie stroked Dennis with a loose grip, and felt Dennis lean his back into him, softly. Charlie spooned against him, his own hard-on pressing against Dennis' thighs. Dennis turned his head, and Charlie realized his heavy breathing alerted Dennis he wasn't asleep anymore. Dennis' mouth jumped to Charlie's and was hot against Charlie's lips. He returned the kiss, and tightened his grip on Dennis' cock.

Dennis rolled over, and burned his lips against Charlie's neck and down his collarbone. Dennis was getting frantic in his movements, as he throbbed in Charlie's hand. Charlie felt like he was melting, as Dennis suddenly gasped and came in Charlie's hand, and across the front of his pajama pants. Dennis pressed a last kiss against Charlie's chest.

 

Neither had noticed Mac creak open the door, and watch them. He shut it quietly, and went back to bed, upset.


	3. Mac and Charlie: Trouble in Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Mac forgive Charlie for hooking up with Dennis?

11am Saturday -- Patty's Bar

Mac sat at the bar, in a completely foul mood. He nursed about five beer bottles in front of him, and even growled a bit when someone came up to the bar to sit down next to him.

"Dude, stop scaring off the regulars." Dennis snapped from behind the bar and went to fill a man at the end of a bar with a large biker beard. Mac cursed under his breath. It had been three weeks since Charlie kissed him in his apartment, and Mac still felt the imprint of his lips. It had been almost two weeks since he walked in on Charlie kissing Dennis and giving him a hand job. Charlie and Dennis didn't know Mac knew, but at the same time, Mac couldn't bear to say anything. Mac was not gay, but this was Charlie. His best friend since they were little. Mac felt a tugging inside him and would not admit, even to himself, that it was jealously.

"What's wrong with you anyway?" Dennis came over and sat on the bar stool next to him.

"Nothing." Mac insisted.

"Fucking liar. You've been weird with me for weeks now. Why are you mad at me?" Dennis countered. Mac's mouth got tight, and his anger almost let loose. He jumped off the stool really quick and stormed past Dennis, almost knocking him off. He could hear Dennis cursing behind him but didn't care. The door to Patty's slammed behind him.

He went somewhere to think alone, like when he did as a kid when his parents fought.

 

 

1pm Saturday -- Patty's Bar

Charlie came in for his closing shift, and saw Dennis at the bar, wiping it down with a rag like it had killed his mother and this was his soapy revenge. Dennis stopped as he looked up and saw Charlie. They looked at each other for a moment as Charlie walked up, but looked away. It wasn't exactly awkward between them after that night in bed together, but they both would rather not talk about it. Charlie was grateful for that. He didn't regret it but he wished it was Mac in his bed, no matter how angry Mac made him.

"Where's Mac? Wasn't he supposed to work the mid shift?" Charlie asked, at Dennis' back.

"That asshole ditched me here by myself. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with him, but it's really pissing me off." Dennis bellowed. "He just took off, without a word." Charlie stood there for a minute before he knew where Mac would be.

"Dennis, get Dee to cover me. Sorry, bro!" Charlie rushed out the door before Dennis could complain.

"Goddamnit Charlie!" Dennis screamed from inside the bar, but it was muffled by the walls of the building and Charlie couldn't hear it.

 

 

1:23 pm Saturday -- Mayfair Park

Mac was laying in the grass near a pond, and wasn't thinking at all. He was enjoying the quiet, and the sound of water tinkling at his feet. His chest rose at a steady pace, until a hand touched it. Startled, he pushed his hand up and smacked the jaw and side of his intruder's face.

"Fuck, Mac! What.. ugh.." Charlie held his face, and almost teared up. His jaw was swelling up, and a little bit of blood came from the corner of his mouth.

"Shit, Charlie... you scared me.. you know I have ninja reflexes." Mac sat up. "Let me see." He put his fingers on Charlie's face, and Charlie's hand surrendered and went to the grass. Mac looked at the bruise that was steadily growing on Charlie's cheek and jawline. Mac could tell it would be black and blue for days. He felt horrible. "What are you doing here?"

"Dennis said you were angry and left." He winced from the pain of Mac's fingers touching the bruise at the corner of his mouth. But he didn't move so much, because the flat of Mac's thumb was rubbing the edge of his lips, and Mac was staring intently at the spot. His eyebrows creased and Charlie felt a pang inside him. He couldn't help it, and felt he could take the rejection for just one more moment of weakness. He leaned over, ignoring his damaged face, and pressed his lips to Mac's. It was soft, and lasted just a few moments before Charlie leaned back after feeling Mac stiffen and not kiss back. "I just wanted to find you and see if you were okay."

Mac was conflicted but decided to push it aside for a moment. He touched his mouth, and his fingers drew back with a spot of blood from Charlie. He looked at it, and then without thinking, put it in his mouth, washing the blood off his finger with his saliva. Charlie said there gaping a little, and Mac instantly realized how much he was attracted to Charlie. His gaping and his hands on the grass beside Mac's legs put an image in Mac's head that he couldn't, and for the moment, didn't want to control. He grabbed Charlie's face, ignoring the whimper of pain and pressed hard against Charlie's mouth. Within a second, Charlie's mouth split, and Mac sunk his tongue into Charlie's warm mouth. There was the metallic copper taste of Charlie's blood, and something like rich earth. Mac thought it tasted amazing, and tilted his head. Charlie's hands came up to Mac's legs, and rubbed against his pants.

Both were breathing heavily, and Mac had pulled Charlie into his lap, and smothered his torso with his arms. Charlie had a handful of Mac's hair while the other hand slid down the back of his shirt. Charlie moved his legs, so he was straddling Mac, and he pressed down against him. Their tongues pressed against each other and Mac let out a moan, that was quickly smothered with Charlie's mouth.

Charlie needed to feel Mac closer, and ground his pelvis against Mac's jeans. Feeling Charlie's hard cock against his own almost drove Mac to the edge. Then Charlie moved his hand to the zipper, and pulling it slightly, slipped his hand down Mac's pants and boxers. Charlie cupped him and gave him a stroke. Mac all of a sudden pictured what Charlie did to Dennis, and with a huff, tossed Charlie off his lap.

The look Charlie gave him, hurt and soft, almost killed Mac's resolve, but he couldn't let it happen.

"I know what you did to Dennis, Charlie, and I don't want this. Leave me alone." He proclaimed, though his hands were shaking. He stomped off to the pathway, leaving Charlie, leaning back, confused and to the verge of tears.


	4. Charlie's Depression

Charlie cried all the way back to the bar, not even caring the weird looks he was getting. He looked homeless almost with his holey hoodie, and dirty jeans, wailing down the sidewalk. By the time he got back to the bar, though, his eyes were red and dry. He pulled open the door, and went in, slouching into a stool by the bar. 

Dennis saw him come in and made a beeline through customers. 

"Where the fuck were you, Charlie? Dee won't answer her phone and I've been by myself." Charlie slammed his head on the table, and pulled his arms around it. Dennis sat down the tray he was holding on the bar. "What is going on?" 

"He KNOWS." Charlie bemoaned. 

"He who? Knows what? Charlie..." Dennis flicks the back of Charlie's ear. 

"MAC. He knows what we did, and now he doesn't want anything to do with me." Charlie grumbled something Dennis couldn't hear until the bar, as he slipped his head from Dennis' grasp. 

"Did you tell him it didn't meant anything?" 

"Yes, he doesn't care." Charlie sat up, and looked at Dennis. "I'm going home." Charlie got up and left without even letting Dennis say anything. 

"Damnit, Charlie." Dennis exclaimed as customers started shouting for their drinks. 

 

Two Weeks Later -- 4:35 pm Wednesday

No one had seen Charlie in weeks. He didn't come to work, and since Frank was living with Bonnie, and Charlie refused to open his apartment door, no one knew how to get a hold of him. Dennis had made Dee do Charlie's Work since he wasn't there, so Dee was at the apartment door, twice a day banging as loudly as she could to get Charlie's attention. 

At the bar, Dennis and Mac were at the bar, with only two customers in the bar.

"Fucking hell, man, just go talk to Charlie. We need him back here, we almost had a riot last night because Dee was the only one here." Dennis argued. 

"Shut up, Dennis." 

"It's not his fault, Mac. We both thought you were banging the waitress, and Charlie just needed a release. Let it go, dude, and forgive him. He's fucking miserable, and Dee said his apartment smells like death, more so than normal." Dennis stopped for a second, looking like he just realized something groundbreaking. "What if he did croak? And his body is just sitting there."

"Charlie's not dead, jackass." Mac replied, ignoring the ache in the bottom of his stomach. 

The bell on the door clinked and they turned to look, as the waitress came in. She came up to the bar, and looked at Dennis. 

"Hey shitface, where's Charlie?"

"Wait.. you are looking for Charlie? Seriously?" Mac stammered.

"I am just wondering what's going on. He stopped following me, or doing anything for me. It's just weird." 

"He's at his apartment, he may have quit. We don't know." Dennis said.

"I will go find him there, then." She turned and walked out the door. Mac felt an unexpected twinge of jealously. 

"Did that just happen?" Dennis looked super confused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No smut.. I know. I haven't decided if I will make Mac work for Charlie to take him back or not, lol.. 
> 
> This is unbeta-ed, so let me know any mistakes, please! :)


	5. The Waitress

Charlie was laying in a pile of filth on the pull out bed in his apartment. The room was littered with beer cans and take out food containers. He was greasier than normal, and a terrible sight. 

He heard a knock on the door, and promptly ignored it. 

Another knock. 

"Charlie? It's me. Let me in." Charlie's brow furrowed. Was that the Waitress? "Come on, Charlie. Open the damn door." He sat up and went over to the door, wading through the trash, it clinking behind him. 

"What are you doing here?" He said, roughly, his mouth dry. 

"Dear lord, Charlie, it smells like something died in here." The Waitress pulled the collar of her shirt over the bottom of her face, and pushed Charlie back. "This is pathetic, even for you."

"Yeah, thanks. Please leave." Charlie fell face first into the bed. 

"As much it bugs me, you constantly following me and annoying me, I kinda miss it, too. And someone needs to help you, since your asshole friends are just at the bar, not giving a shit." She grabbed his arm and began to pull him up. "You are going to take a shower right now." 

Charlie groaned but let her lead him to his bathroom, turn on the pipes with a creaking sound, and toss him in the shower with his clothes on. 

"Figured you might need this." She put a bottle of soap in his hand. "Do not come out until you stop smelling like a sewer." Charlie grunted, and began to peel off his sweaty, greasy clothes. The Waitress took off back into the other room. 

Thirty minutes later, way after the hot water turned to ice, Charlie stepped out of the shower, and saw a white towel sitting on the sink. He never even heard her come in, and leave and had no idea where she even got the towel from. He wrapped it around himself, and ran a hair through his hair. Even wet, it was much softer than it had been. 

He went into the living room, and it was much cleaner. There were trash bags lined at the door, and The Waitress apparently sprayed something that smelled like flowers. There were clean sheets on his bed, which he also had no idea where they came from. 

"I went to the store on the corner and got you some clean stuff." She said. 

"Thanks." Charlie replied, sitting down on the bed. "Do you know where my clothes are?" 

"Yeah, you are not putting back on that dirty shit." She pulls some boxers and a t-shirt from a plastic bag. She tosses them at him and turns to take the trash bags down the hallway. Charlie pulls on the boxers, as she comes back in. She watches him pull the t-shirt on. 

"You know, Charlie, you actually have a nice body, if you actually showered more often." 

"Wait.. what?" Charlie paused to look at her. "What?" She came over to him, and put a hand on his shoulder. 

"I can't believe this is gonna happen, but I'm in a giving mood, I guess." She pushed him on his back, and straddles his thighs. Charlie is in shock, and can't even process what is happening. 

"Are you going to touch me, Charlie?" She says, leaning down to press her lips to his. Her tongue darts out and caresses his lips. He opens up instinctively, and his hands slowly touch her legs. He breathes out into her mouth, and she dives in, running her tongue along his mouth. His hands touch the edge of her skirt, and she moves her hips down to rub herself against his boxers, and rapidly hardening bulge. 

Her moan is interrupted by the door slamming open. Mac stands there. 

"Wait, Charlie. Please let's talk before.. this. Before this happens."

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr is [Trope Queen](http://tropequeen.tumblr.com).


End file.
